August 4

2157-2186

We spend all day climbing and descending low mountains and peaks walking east to west along the Columbia river gorge. Throughout the day we climb over 6,000 vertical feet, and yet we end the day at under 1,500 feet elevation.

During this stretch Amber and I had planned to leave 12 hours apart, and I would chase her through the section to try to catch her before the next town. At the last minute, we cancelled this plan. Unfortunately I had already purchased my food- with the plan that I would not be stopping to eat meals. I am left with huge stacks of dense protein bars called Protein Pucks and 2 small bottles of scotch. The pucks are essentially hard tack- 500 calories each and very dense.

It is hot as hell. My sweat smells weird. I am profoundly skinny and tired of walking. Mosquitos constantly gulp from my poisoned blood. My misery is immeasurable.

I am reminded of a quote from Soju, my Korean friend from the Continental Divide Trail.

Soju began the CDT, the most difficult long distance trail in the world, having never backpacked before. He had no idea what he was doing. He had the wrong gear- a heavy military pack with winter clothing. He had the wrong shoes- heavy boots that lead to horrific blisters. He had the wrong food- during his first stretch he filled his pack with hundreds of nature valley granola bars. ONLY nature valley granola bars. What he had though, was an incredible amount of toughness. He learned along the way, guided by other hikers, and cut his gear down to only the necessities. By the time I met him, nearly 1800 miles into the trail, he was an extremely formidable and capable hiker. His toughness was contrasted with his fashion sense. He was always meticulously groomed and clean. He walked with his shirt tucked in and used expensive bronzing tanning lotion. His hair was always meticulously combed. Soju was an enigma.

His one remaining weakness was his affinity for draining his phone battery, and with it his only source of navigation, by endlessly listening to K-pop music. He would frequently have no charge for his phone, and the rest of us would make sure to draw arrows in the dirt during any confusing trail junction. While hiking through the Bob Marshall Wilderness in Montana, one of the largest wilderness areas in the lower 48 and prime grizzly bear habitat, Soju got lost. Our group would wait for one another during lunch breaks, to try to keep safe in grizzly country, and Soju did not show up. Figuring that he had taken an earlier lunch, we continue on before stopping early for the night. Darkness falls and Soju never arrives. He is alone without a map and without a flashlight, in one of the densest grizzly territories in the contiguous United States. We discuss what could be happening to him and make plans to bail out from the trail and call search and rescue if we do not see him by mid day the next day.

At 3am we hear a rustling in the bushes around us and we all get out of our tents and shine our flashlights into the darkness. Soju is standing there. His hair is a mess, his shirt is ripped, and he has a bloody nose. In his broken English he utters “Today I Make a Bad Memory,” before laying straight on the ground and falling asleep. We never received a clear story of what happened to him. His quote became the mantra of our group whenever any misfortune came out way. Amber and I use it frequently.

Even though we are walking in circles in a humid jungle, and my organs are probably failing, It isn’t all bad. Mid day we look behind us and see the Columbia, shining like a silver necklace as it weaves its way through the low hills of the gorge. For dinner I drink my scotch and I eat my last minute freeze dried meal purchase.